Tonya Harding
Home Up

 

Are you getting frustrated every softball season, losing to the same team, with all the big sluggers, year in and year out?
Are you tired of always getting beat 6-0, 6-0, 6-0 by that arrogant tennis playing friend of yours, with the killer serve?
Have you had enough of that annoying golf buddy, who always shoots 4 or 5 strokes lower than you?
Just plain tired of ALWAYS losing to someone better than you?

NO PROBLEM!

Let US to the dirty work for you!

T O N Y A H A R D I N G C E N T E R
F O R O P P O N E N T N E U T R A L I Z A T I O N

That's right! For a small fee we can rough up, maim, dismember, paralyze, or even kill that person or persons who are blocking your path to athletic success.

--- Check Out Our Prices ---

Blow to one knee..............................................$ 99.95
Blow to both knees (a better buy)....................$149.95
Blow to the head..............................................$124.95
Knife in the back (tennis players only).............$ 49.95
Kick in the groin (male athletes only)................$ 9.95
Poke out one eye...............................................$ 49.95
Poke out both eyes (Three Stooges fashion).....$ 79.95
Gun shot to the knee........................................$199.95
Gun shot to both knees....................................$299.95
Gun shot to the head........................................$499.95
Public impalement............................................$999.95

Remember: WEDNESDAYS are Bonus Days. Order one act of violence and receive the second at 50% off.

With every order over $300.00 you automatically receive a collapsible hard-plastic baton personally signed by Tonya Harding HERSELF --- just like the one used to bear the crap out of Nancy Kerrigan.

Order now and receive absolutely FREE the Lorena Bobbitt Home Castration Kit. Sex crazed husband not included.

All comments can be sent to me at .

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