Employee
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EMPLOYEE EVALUATION

NAME: _________________________________

DATE:  _________________________________

Knowledge:

____ The son of a bitch knows his shit.

____ Knows just enough to be dangerous.

____ Fucking brain damaged. His coffee cup has a higher IQ.

____ Only half a brain and is dangerous.

Accuracy:

____ Does excellent work, if not preoccupied with pussy.

____ Pretty good. Only occasionally blows it out his ass.

____ Has to take his shoes off to count higher than ten.

____ Couldn't count his balls and get the same number twice.

Attitude:

____ Extremely cooperative, (if you kiss his ass frequently).

____ Brown noser in good standing.

____ Often pisses co-workers off. Thinks he owns the place.

____ Doesn't give a shit, never did, never will.

Reliability:

____ Really a dependable little cock sucker.

____ Works so hard that he must take an extra day off each week.

____ Can rely on him to be the first one out the door.

____ Totally fucking worthless.

Appearance:

____ Extremely neat. Even combs his pubic hair.

____ Looks great on his day off.

____ Flies leave fresh dog shit to follow him.

____ Dirty, filthy, smelly, son of a bitch.

Performance:

____ Goes like a son of a bitch, if there's money in it.

____ Does all kind of good shit at evaluation time.

____ Works well after an enema.

____ Couldn't do less if he were in a coma.

Leadership:

____ Carries a chain saw and gets good results.

____ Macho attitude, commands total disgust.

____ Dog fasted three days last time he brought home pork chops.

____ Mother Teresa told him to get fucked.

I understand that I have been counseled and understand my rights under the Privacy Act of 1974. I further acknowledge that I am as fucked up as a football bat and will make some attempt to correct my deficiencies.

Signature: ________________________________

Date: ____________________________________

All comments can be sent to me at .

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