The (Not So ) Concise Pocket Dictionary of Computer Terminology
ALGORITHM: Trendy dance for hip programmers.
ANALOG: A roughly hewn wooden seat, used by computer analysts.
APPLICATION: The act of applying or laying on of color decals to hardware surfaces.
BASIC: Acronym for Bunglers All-purpose Slag Interjectory Claptrap, a series of systemized exclamations taught to initiates.
BUG: (see coding.)
CARD READER: Tarot technician.
COBOL: An acronym for a computer language that is Completely Over and Beyond reason Or Logic.
CODING: A cough syrup for treating a sick computer who caught a bug. (see bug).
DATA PROCESSOR: A mechanism which chops, shreds, slices, or grates information into digestible bits.
DATA, TERMINAL: Autopsy report.
DEBUG: Delicing the computer center.
DIGITAL COMPUTER: A machine for processing fingerprints
DISC PACK: A six pack of alcoholic beverage, designed for consumption aboard an alien space craft.
FORTRAN: Short for FORmula TRAiNing, a nourishment give to baby (or micro ) computers.
GENERAL Purpose Computer: A four star all purpose war gaming machine.
HEAVY PENCIL: (see light pen).
INPUT: CENSORED (see input device).
INPUT DEVICE: A male electronic probe designed to computation and procreation of future micro computers.
KEYBOARD: A dozing computer programmer.
LIGHT PEN: (See heavy pencil).
LINE PRINTER: A stand up gag writing computer for composition of one liners.
NANOSECOND: A second in mork time.
OUTPUT DATA : Data that has been excreted from an internal storage medium to a flush-down device.
PAPER TAPE: A long paper-thin worm that lives as a parasite in the intestines of a storage medium
PRINTER: Johann Gutenberg (1398?-1468).
PROGRAM: (Short for ProGrammy) A music award for professional keyboard operators.
PUNCHED CARD: An inebriated card having almost 80 random columns.
SOFTWARE: Formal evening attire for female computer analysts.
STORAGE DEVICE: Cold room or morgue, for Terminal Data.
SYSTEM: A foolproof method for dealing and winning at punched cards.
- A grand central station for divergent trains of thought.
- See data.
USER: An addicted individual who requires the services of a methadone processing center.