Dear

[ ] sir [ ] clueless one [ ] Mr. Phelps [ ] self-appointed dictator

[ ] madam [ ] dweeb [ ] loser [ ] waste of space

[ ] goof [ ] ****head [ ] bigot [ ] brain dead

[ ] loser [ ] bore [ ] stupid [ ] ignorant bastard

[ ] dud [ ] Geek [ ] occupant [ ] other _________________

You are being gently flamed because...

[ ] you continued a boring useless stupid thread

[ ] you repeatedly posted to the same thread that you just posted to

[ ] you repeatedly initiated incoherent, flaky, and mindless threads

[ ] you posted a piece riddled with profanities

[ ] you advocated Net censorship

[ ] you SCREAMED! (used all caps)

[ ] you posted some sort of crap that doesn't belong in this group

[ ] you posted the inanely stupid 'Make Money Fast' article

[ ] you posted an inanely stupid cheap s**t at high prices article

[ ] you threatened others with physical harm

[ ] you made a bigoted statement(s)

[ ] you repeatedly assumed unwarranted moral or intellectual superiority

[ ] you are under the misapprehension that this group is your preserve

[ ] you repeatedly have shown lack of humor

[ ] you are apparently under compulsion to post to every thread

[ ] you are posting an anonymous attack

[ ] you respond to every post with an unwarranted flame

[ ] you are, without a doubt, the biggest geek I've encountered to date

[ ] you need an object lesson in humility, and I am qualified to teach you

[ ] you cluelessly butted in to a matter which is none of your business

[ ] you were obviously raised by wolves to have so few social skills

[ ] you should have been drowned at birth, but someone forgot to do it

[ ] you are a cretin who needs to quit stalking young female modemers

[ ] you are trying to pass off a flame as a joke, and failing miserably

[ ] you asked for it, and here it is

Thank you for the time you have taken to read this.

(Keeper's FormTwitList, Rev. v1.13, copyright by Unknown Internet author)